Does this seem a bit pushy to anyone else? Have any of you ever been ordered to contribute to a gift for a colleague rather than asked to donate? I'm offended. Thing is, I barely know the person who is retiring. I like her well enough, I guess -- but I really
don't like being told not only that I must donate, but how much.
* * *
Dear women colleagues,
L____, M____, P____ and I thought it would be a nice thing to present E____ with a retirement present at our get together in May. A $10 contribution from each one of us, will enable us to give E____ and her husband a weekend getaway, maybe in Chicago.
I volunteered to collect the money from each of you. Please bring $10, cash or check, at the graduation ceremony. I will also bring a card so we can all sign.
Please let me know if there any objections.
Thank you for making this job (collection) easy for me.
Sincerely,
A____
4 comments:
It is a bit presumptuous. If they had asked people to donate, do you think you would be more willing to give? I think I would.
And the letter begs another question - is your office all female? Why aren't the men being asked to donate?
The person who is retiring has been around forever. Apparently back in the 60s, the college was even more sexist than it is now. The woman who is retiring was part of a group of female profs who started the "L@keland Women" tradition, which is this: at the start and end of every year, there's a party just for the female faculty to celebrate our contributions to the college. In that tradition, there's a "women-only" retirement party happening in addition to the college-sponsored shindig. This gift is going to be given at the women-only party.
The women-only part doesn't bother me, I guess because I know and appreciate where it came from. Although it seems antiquated now, I completely understand why the "L@keland Women" tradition started -- it was a way to empower female faculty and make them feel that yes, they do matter, and yes, they do have a voice, and no, they don't have to hide in the shadows of the institution. It will die once everyone in that generation retires, which will be soon, but...whatever.
And yes, I do think I would have been a lot more willing to donate if I had been politely asked. Thing is, I'm not going to say no. The environment at our college is so tenuous right now that there's no room for error, and some of these women have some pretty heavy pull. :(
Yeah, it's just a shame that they have no, um, manners?
Anyway, that context helps a lot. We have a Women's Network here at work, but we also have other "Diversity" groups, like the Black Employee Network, gay people, and even networks for people with nothing more in common than being part of the same generation.
Completely pushy and totally rude. Too bad they have you by your ovaries, or whatever the saying is nowadays.
At least they aren't asking for a ridiculous amount. And there is also the fact that it's a pain in the ass to be the designated money-collector, so I do respect the directness of it. It wouldn't have hurt to say "A $10 *suggested* contribution" instead.. I mean, throwing in the word "suggested" wouldn't have killed them and it would've been a less pushy way to get the same message across.
At least you don't have to put any real effort towards it, seeing that you don't know her very well. No party planning, no gift-choosing or card-picking-out, etc.
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